Dear FanFiction
by poseidon's hufflepuff daughter
Summary: Just a collection of letters about what the HP and the PJO characters think about the stories that are written about them on FanFiction. Short and funny. Please enjoy and tell me what you think. This isn't a one-shot :)
1. The Golden Trio and Percy

Dear FanFiction

**A/N: I just thought since school started, I could do short stories in whatever spare time I have. I will still be updating Love and Hate's Daughter. The reason I didn't update this weekend like I did with my Divergent stories is that you'll get an extra-long update for that one next week ending the Sorcerer's Stone! :)**

**Anyway, I'll just start this story off. There will be one to three letters per chapter, depending on how good I feel.**

Dear FanFiction,

Okay, I get that you guys like writing 'Demigods at Hogwarts' stories, but why is it in a lot of them you tend to bash us? We're not that nosy, okay, maybe Hermione is. _Hey! It's called curiosity! _**Write on your own letter, Hermione! **Hey GUYS! This is my letter not yours! Isn't it bad that I have to deal with my two best friends arguing all the time!? _Harry, we're not arguing. _So anyways, we're not arrogant, and we don't think we're better than anyone else so please, don't bash us in those. _And also, I don't have a rivalry with Annabeth in every story, and I'm not going to hit on Percy in every story. _I'm also not going to hit on Annabeth, where do you get this stuff authors!?

-Harry, _Hermione, _**and Ron**

Dear FanFiction,

I've just discovered these 'Boy-Who-Lived bashing stories.' As I said before, I am not arrogant and I don't think I am better than anyone else. My parents are dead and I don't have a twin sister who is pushed off to the side in the Wizarding World, then somehow is whisked off to the demigod world. And I don't think my parents are that mean at all to actually disown their flesh and blood. Please, I beg of you, stick to canon as much as possible.

-Harry

Dear Fanfiction,

I think I'm an only child, last time I checked. I don't have a brother named Harry Potter, and I'm a demigod, not a wizard.

-Percy

**A/N: I don't have anything against these; I like a lot of them. I just thought it was funny to see what the characters would think of this. Please tell me what you think. I'll update when I feel like it. Could be in an hour, could be tomorrow, could be a week later.**


	2. Nico, Thalia, Rachel, and Lord Voldemort

**A/N: It seems that you liked the first chapter, so here are more letters. These are from Nico, Rachel, Thalia, and Lord Voldemort, sent to you. Enjoy! :)**

Dear FanFiction,

I am not emo. I just spend a lot of time with the dead. And please stop pairing me with your demigod Mary-Sue OC's in your demigods at Hogwarts stories.

-Nico Di Angelo

Dear FanFiction,

Why am I always the bad guy!? I am not after Percy and I'm definitely not "Percy's slutty ex-girlfriend!" Please stop making me the bad guy in your modern AU Percabeth fanfics, authors! I am the ORACLE for heavens' sake! I don't DATE!

-Rachel Elizabeth Dare

Dear FanFiction,

Do I have to spell it for you? I am a H-U-N-T-E-R O-F A-R-T-E-M-I-S Hunter of Artemis! I do not fall in love with Luke Castellan, and stop pairing me with Nico. And PERLIA with Annabeth bashing?! You don't diss my best friend like that! You authors are crazy. I should shock you all.

-Thalia Grace

Dear FanFiction,

Why is it you make me have a heart in some of your stories? One of them even has a love interest for me! I am the most feared wizard in all of Britain! I am Lord Voldemort and I command you to delete all stories like that or I will not hesitate to kill you. Now if you'll excuse me, I must plot an evil plan to kill Harry Potter. I don't have time for you muggle authors.

-Lord Voldemort

**A/N: How'd you like it? Reviews are appreciated *hint hint* If you have any ideas for letters, don't hesitate to send me them through a review or a PM :)**


	3. Reyna, Ares, and the Weasley Twins

Reyna, Ares, and the Weasley Twins

**A/N: It is I, with a funny update after lots of homework! I've got a request for Reyna and two requests for Ares, and I even threw in the Weasley's. I asked them for letters and they didn't hesitate to give them to me. Here are their letters, sent to you.**

**The reason I'm updating this really fast is because the chapters are short. I'm not neglecting anything, I swear on the Styx.**

Dear FanFiction,

I am outraged by your ships! Leyna? As if I love that Valdez boy! Me and Nico? What are you people thinking? I am perfectly fine on my own and I would appreciate it if you could delete these stories. I would be fine with a story about Jason and me… but never mind. Piper has him…but he was under amnesia! Ugh…never mind. Just delete the stories please.

-Reyna

Dear FanFiction,

You punks write some messed up stuff. But there's isn't a story about me! ARES DOES NOT LIKE BEING IGNORED! You punks go and pair up my daughter with people like the Stolls and you even paired her up with that Jackson kid once! Yet you don't apologize and ignore me! If you keep writing these messed up stories I will pound you into next week, punks!

-Ares

PS: A love story about me and Aphrodite would be nice.

Dear FanFiction,

We've never heard of anyone named Connor and Travis Stoll, and they can't possibly be better at pranking than us, right?

-Fred and George Weasley

**A/N: How'd you like the chapter! :) Please review or PM me any requests.**


	4. Draco, Snape, and Annabeth

Draco, Snape, and Annabeth

Dear FanFiction,

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! Enjoy! :) Sorry I couldn't get to everyone's requests, but for some of them I have writers block on. I WILL get to them, I promise you.**

DRARRY?! DRARRY!? As if I would ever fall in love with _Potter, Saint Potter. _Friend of mud-bloods and blood-traitors alike, attention seeker. I hate all of you authors. I also don't want to be the love interests of your OC's. My father will hear about this! *storms off to owl his precious daddy*

-Draco

PS: Why did I choose _you _of all authors topost my letter on FanFiction, poseidon's hufflepuff daughter? You're the creator of one of those OC's! *cough* Love and Hate's Daughter *cough* And I did not say that last part!

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: I must make the story funny for my readers.

Dear FanFiction,

I'm just going to get to the point. Stop making me too OOC in your stories.

-Severus Snape

PS: Why are we letting a junior high fangirl post these letters?

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: In two years I will be in high school. So since I am not your student, I am telling you very politely to shut up.

Snape: *glares*

Dear FanFiction,

Please stop portraying me as a slut. I assure you that I would never cheat on my Seaweed Brain with his half-brother or anyone else, and I am sure he would never do the same. And I do not turn evil. I'm asking you to delete these stories

-Annabeth

PS: poseidon's hufflepuff daughter, I read your profile. It appears you have an unhealthy obsession about our stories.

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: I know.

**A/N: How'd you like it? Please review! For all Divergent fans: How'd you like it if I posted a 'Dear FanFiction' for Divergent? I'm sure Tris and Tobias need to have a say on all the stories written about them! R&R! :)**


	5. Ron and Hermione, and Katie

Ron/Hermione and Katie

**A/N: Okay, so it took A LOT of begging, but I got Ron and Katie to give me letters sent to you. Hermione wrote a little on Ron's letter however…Enjoy! :)**

Dear FanFiction,

Stop bashing me in your stories! I'm not a lazy idiot! _Well, actually… _SHUT IT HERMIONE! Well I definitely don't betray Harry. Or Hermione, for that matter. And I certainly don't turn into a death eater! I don't know what the bloody hell is going in your minds authors of fanfiction! _Yes…I would also like to say that some of you are pairing me with Draco…please delete such stories, that would be nice._ Hermione, this is my letter!

-Ron

_And Hermione_

Write on your own letter Hermione!

Dear FanFiction

You all are ridiculous, seriously! Tratie?! TRATIE!? As if! You do know that him and his brother Connor placed spiders on the roof of our cabin, right? Just…no. HADES NO! And I am not in denial!

-Katie

**How'd you like it?**** Please review! Requests are welcome and until next time! :)**

**-poseidon's hufflepuff daughter**


	6. Zeus and Umbridge

Zeus and Umbridge

**A/N: Hey readers! I managed to get ahold of a letter from Zeus, and Umbridge (whose letter is full of lies by the way), your requests will be granted soon, I promise. **

**Enjoy the letters! :)**

Dear FanFiction,

I've noticed that none of you write any stories about me. I AM THE KING OF THE GODS! I at least want some stories that venerate me, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK! Well there was one…but that one doesn't count that was incest…WRITE SOME STORIES ABOUT ME OR I WILL ZAP YOU WITH A LIGHTNING BOLT!

-Lord Zeus

PS: Under no circumstances do I want my daughter Thalia anywhere near Hades' spawn. I order all Thalico stories to be banned.

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: Isn't that letter a bit harsh?

Zeus: DO NOT QUESTION THE KING OF THE GODS, sea spawn!

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: okay…but…

Zeus: *glares*

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: *gulps* Yes, Lord Zeus.

Dear FanFiction,

I notice that in a lot of your stories I am portrayed as an evil honey-sweet toad. I happen to be a very delightful woman, and I don't like you authors warping my personality like that. I just believe that children need to be punished that's all.

-Dolores Umbridge

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: they were sticking to canon, actually. You ARE an evil toad. You gave Harry a blood quill, for heaven's sake!

Umbridge: Lies! Lies! I want you to take this blood quill and write "I must not tell lies" over and over again, just like Mr. Potter.

Me: *throws Umbridge down to the pits of Tartarus* Be gone!

ALL BETTER!

**A/N: Hope you liked the chapter! :) Please review and feel free to send requests! :)**

**-poseidon's hufflepuff daughter **


	7. Hades and Dumbledore

**A/N: It is I, with more letters! Yeah, these ones are from Hades and Dumbledore. Sorry about slow updates, it IS hard to get these you know.**

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Dear FanFiction,

As I recall, I was the only one to actually keep my oath on the Styx to not have any more kids AFTER World War II, unlike my idiot brothers.

*thunder rumbles*

*the waves of the sea rage*

OH, SHUT UP!

Nico and Bianca do not count; they were born BEFORE. SO WHY are you authors saying that I have a son called Harry Potter. No, I did NOT have an affair with Lily Potter. SO stop putting that in your stories or FACE MY UNDEAD SOLDIERS!

-Lord Hades

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: Wooow… you gods are REALLY harsh in your letters.

Hades: I have no time to deal with an annoying sea spawn; you're just like your brother.

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: Thank you!

Hades: That wasn't a compliment…argh never mind!

* * *

Dear FanFiction

In the kindest way possible, I'd like to tell you all that I most definitely do not want Harry's money; and I in no way am working against Harry or any of his friends at all. The only people I intend to work against with are Voldemort and his followers. The Weasley's are also a lovely family; and they in no way want Harry's money as well. I just want to remind you of this; even if I cannot stop you from writing them.

-Albus Dumbledore

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: FINALLY a NICE letter! Do you know how many self-centered and annoying letters I've been receiving these days?!

Dumbledore: Let me guess: Zeus, Hades, and Ares?

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: YES!

Dumbledore: I wish you luck, being a letter-carrier requires kindness and patience.

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: Thank you.

* * *

**A/N: How'd you like it? Next ones are from the Stoll brothers, Jason Grace, and Piper McLean. Please review! :)**

**-poseidon's hufflepuff daughter**

**PS: I went on an UPDATING SPREE this weekend! (When I update two or more of my stories on one weekend) I posted a new story called "Happily Ever After?" and it is Percabeth without the war. Keep in mind there are Blood of Olympus spoilers in it, don't say I didn't warn you.**


	8. Athena, Poseidon, Leo, and Piper

Athena, Poseidon, Leo, and Piper

**A/N: I'm sorry; this was completely off of my requests. BUT THIS WILL BE FUNNY! I know, no HP in this one, but there will be in the next one. Sorry for not updating. Enjoy please! :)**

* * *

Dear FanFiction,

Okay, as I recall, I've never given my permission for Percy and Annabeth to marry. I didn't even know they were dating; my mind crazy during the war with Gaea! And what is this Percabeth? **Hey, chill a little, you can't stop the free love, right? I believe Annabeth is a great girl for my son. **That's ANOTHER thing. What is this Pothena pairing!? I HATE Poseidon! **Well, that hurt. Plus, you need to stop living in the past. You know the thing with the olive tree and my former girlfriend Medusa was millennia ago, right? **Okay, you SERIOUSLY need to shut up. I just think the relationship is unwise, that's all. **I think it's great! But I agree with you on the whole Pothena thing. Please don't write that.**

_poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: THIS IS A LETTER, NOT A BICKERING LITTLE CONVERSATION!_

Okay fine, we're done. **Yeah…what's got your knickers in a twist?**

-Athena and **Poseidon**

_poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: *sighs*_

* * *

Dear FanFiction,

Do I seriously hit on every girl that's out of my league? **YES, you DO repair boy! **Okay, no one asked YOU, Piper! Okay, maybe I do. But Reyna and I, you see, we just don't click, it just wouldn't happen. **Yeah because you're in love with Calypso! Calypso and Leo sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-G no wait isn't it K-I—**SHUT UP PIPER! But yeah, she explained it. Before I go, let me just say one thing. **Please, gods no…**"All da ladies luv Leo!" ***sighs* At least I have my Jason.**

-Leo and **Piper**

poseidon's_ hufflepuff daughter: crazy aren't they?_

_Leo and __**Piper**__: SHUT UP!_

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**A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! PM me requests, they will be answered…in a millennia…no I'm kidding…as soon as I can :)**


	9. Jason, Frank, and Hermione

**A/N: Happy Early Thanksgiving! Here I am with…the next chapter of Dear FanFiction since eternity! Yeah, sorry about that, blame school :(**

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Dear FanFiction,

Why does it seem like everyone hates me? I mean, I don't want to take Percy's spotlight, at all. But that's what you authors are thinking. Like I'm some sort of wannabe hero, and that my relationship with Piper is like a carbon copy of Percy and Annabeth's. That's not what I am. I just want you to cool it on the bashing. Plus, I would NEVER cheat on Piper.

-Jason

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: Not ALL the authors.

Jason: Thank you!

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: Jasper's sort of like Percabeth…

Jason: Shut up.

* * *

Dear FanFiction,

Remember that guy? You know, Asian guy, son of Mars? Because A LOT of you seem to forget about me, and you either add me in during haste, or you don't put me in at all. I mean, I just don't want to be 'that overlooked guy.' Please, authors, I really would like to see more stories about me.

-Frank

PS: A Frazel story would be nice.

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: Aww! You just have to love Frazel! I totally agree with you.

Frank: Then why am I the last of the seven to be put in one of your letters?

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: you're not the last one, Hazel is, so far she hasn't had any complaints, unlike SOME PEOPLE!

Frank: Shut up.

* * *

Dear FanFiction,

I just discovered this…thing. The "thing" is called Dramione. Okay, why would I ever think about being with…him? He's just an arrogant little git who thinks he's better than everyone else! I mean really? Him! Please don't write any of them, they really are creepy!

-Hermione

PS: Especially the "Marriage Law" ones

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: yeah…that pairing's wrong…but one person wrote one really well...

Hermione: Shut up.

* * *

poseidon's hufflepuff daughter: what's with all these people and telling me to shut up!? I'm not THAT annoying, am I? : P

* * *

**A/N: I hoped you liked the letters! Please feel free to send me requests. Now, when I post Chapter 10—it won't be a regular chapter. It will be a PRANK WAR between the Stolls and the Weasley twins, requested by lovepercy76324 (Guest)! You can also tell me through a review telling me who you are "betting to win" and things like that :) Look forward to it!**

**Please R&R! :)**

**-Ana**


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